Confessions of a sex addict: I've lost everything that's dear to me
The New Paper
By Maureen Koh
Ms Chew met her second husband on a matchmaking website. They dated for about a year before having sex.
A year later, they got married.
During their courtship, she continued having sex with other men, from "colleagues to friends of friends" whom she met at parties.
"I don't know... maybe at the back of my mind, I just wanted to take revenge on my first husband," she says.
"But I really loved my second husband. It's just that I never enjoyed sex with him. I felt restrained."
The marriage didn't last. Her husband found out that she had sex with a man she picked up at a club when she was in Phuket for a work retreat.
"A colleague hinted to him about it and he confronted me," she says. "I broke down and promised him that I'd stop. He forgave me, I thought. But then again, you know, men can't really accept such betrayal.
"And because I lost other avenues of sex, I started to invest in sex toys, buying them at first (here) before ordering online."
"I was also frustrated when my husband, who was struggling with my infidelity, rejected me. He'd find excuses, like too much work or that he was too tired. Everything just went downhill."
Then Ms Chew became pregnant.
She confesses: "It was deliberate because I'd hoped that having a child could save our marriage, that it could save me."
Her husband was initially happy, but things soured again a few weeks later.
She says: "One night, when I started getting horny and wanted sex and suggested a different position (because of her pregnancy), he had the look of sheer disgust on his face.
"We had a shouting match, ugly words were exchanged and then the boiling point came when he said, 'You are nothing but a whore. How do I know you have not been sleeping around? How do I even know that the baby is mine?' That was it."
Ms Chew walked out and ended up at a coffee shop in Geylang because "it was around 1am and I didn't know where to go".
She says: "I was drinking by myself when I saw this foreign worker and he was smiling at me." The next thing she knew, she was in bed with the man in a budget hotel.